Monday, November 4, 2013

This Little Piggy Cried Weee, Weeee, Weeee, All the Way Home

None of my clothes seem to want to fit anymore.  No, it's not because I've gone down a size; I've gone up.  Almost two dress sizes now.  But, ya' know what?  I'm ok with that.  Because I'm ok with why my clothes are too tight.  I'm excited by what's going on with my body.

I'm pregnant!  So yeah, I'm excited.  Please see also: ecstatic, nervous, worried, neurotic, moody (volatile).  Plus, I haven't told very many folks yet, and there are some people in particular who I hope to avoid telling, period.  But that's an entirely different story, and one I'd imagine you don't care to hear about.

It's been quite difficult since I found out for me to eat as healthy as I want to and should be for the health of my little one.  I tried to limit my intake of grains and sugars, but it only stressed me out, and caused me to eat more than I intended, and then some.  So I let myself go for awhile, just eating what I needed (or wanted) when I needed to eat.  Which is always.  Um?  Is that normal for the first few months?  I feel like I'm really out of whack right now, and that I'm consuming way more than I actually should.  I'm nervous that I might give myself gestational diabetes, or that it will affect the baby.  Any mothers out there reading my little blog, here?  What was the first trimester like for you?  Did you feel like you wanted to eat everything?

I'm hoping to get on a healthier track by my second trimester.  I kinda worked out a deal with myself/promised myself some time to relax and become comfortable with the pregnancy.  I've been dealing with an abundance of stress lately, and I didn't want anything to go wrong, or to harm my growing baby, so I've made a concerted effort to keep calm and relaxed as much as possible; to ask for help when I need it, especially when lifting boxes or bags of groceries; and not to beat myself up (too much) over how quickly I've outgrown my clothes.  I had a miscarriage a few years ago, and I'm convinced I caused it by not taking good enough care of myself.  I must admit, though, it has been a struggle.  I went up a dress size over the summer, most likely because my body was preparing itself and adjusting for what it knew was happening, but then, once I found out, it was like overnight I jumped up two more sizes...and it bothered the bejeezus out of me.  Irrational, I know.  I'm trying to deal it.  I know my body is going through some beautiful amazing changes, and I want to embrace them.  (The tatas are larger, which is kinda nice for a B cup girl, lol...but then they're also sensitive, which is not nice for anyone!)

So, anyhow.  What I'm trying to say, basically, is: I need your help.  I really do.  I need your encouragement, but I also need you to help me stay accountable.  I have a few changes, for the better, that I have to adopt by my second trimester, which is coming up pretty soon:  I've gotten start eating better (as in, stop eating chocolate and pizza just because I'm craving it, because it isn't best for baby), and -- this is a big one, and I know I'm going to get a lot of grief for it, and I'm prepared, and do understand the gravity of it -- I have to stop smoking cigarettes.  My excuse (reason? can I call it a reason, instead) for not having already quit?  The stress thing.  Not wanting to traumatize my body by suddenly quitting, and thus putting the baby in any more danger than I already am in smoking.  Please do forgive me?

So, you see?  I need you.

Until next time, thanks for reading!  -- xoxo Jess

How did your diet change during pregnancy, or what kinds of changes have you observed in others during their pregnancies?  Did you or someone you know find it difficult to kick a nasty vice once they discovered they were pregnant?  If so, what kind of tips can you offer to other pregnant ladies who may be struggling with the same habits?